Thursday, October 13, 2005

Games People Play

Games People Play


A friend of mine and I were talking about this book by Eric Berne and how it can affect your life ( the games that is). What I mean is : sometimes there is more going on when your parents or siblings are mean and they try to make you look incomplete or inadequate.


In life we get "stamps" by acting out our desires and intentions with others. You can notice this with your self first. When you read, say Lisa's journal or Hadonfield's journal and you put a nice comment on it that is supportive, in psychology we assume that you are doing nice things in order to get a nice stimulus back. This is normal.


Some people have been raised or abused by mean people and they behave differently. They try to behave or pretend to be nice and then suck us in. Then, they say or do something mean. What they are trting to do is to get "stamps" or a stimulus from you for negative or harmful behavior.


Why am I telling you this? It is so you will analyze how your family treats you if you have not done so already. The fun part is: once you analyze it and you see what game is being played out, and if it is not a good game for you, you may decide to stand up for yourself. You can tell the other party (or write them a letter, even if you don't mail it) that you are a great person ( tell them your friend Natalie told you so!) and that you don't intend to take their abuse anymore because you simply don't deserve it!


It can be amazing if you tell some people that you love them but you only want a good interaction with them ( stamps for good behavior) they may actually change !


I can't promise that they will change, but if you give them some time and you help them by saying that you want it and you will help them to do it, you might be surprized.They may want to change so that theri own life is happier.


You have many friends here so it might be an interesting experiment.If you don't do this it is okay too; it is only a tool that you might like.


My only interest in telling you this is I think that you are great! We have a wonderful group of friends here and you can only grow stronger!


natalie


 

9 comments:

hadonfield78 said...

Nat
This was really good. I never thought of it as a game of stamps. But your right, it really is. I love that analogy.
Job Well Done.
(((HUGS))))

joolsinwa said...

...... interesting.
~Julie

sugar1337 said...

Beh Mod is a fun technique to work with, but it can be dangerous to mess with people if you are't prepared for the consequences.

dragonrose3911 said...

Awww thank you. We think you're great too. Sorry I havent been by in a while. I havent been to many journals lately as it is. This is very interesting. I might have to look more into it...lol
http://journals.aol.com/dragonrose3911/PIT/
Felicia

dreamingbrwneyes said...

Hmm interesting. Something to think on...

gaboatman said...

I agree that we have a great bunch of friends here.  This is a great tool you have shared with us.  I hope this may help someone who really needs it.  
Sam

gabreaelinfo said...

Naa, we didn't get hurt.


Gabreael

http://journals.aol.com/gabreaelinfo/GabreaelsBodyMindSpiritJournal/

princesssaurora said...

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bgilmore725 said...

This is true... I've seen it happen in my own family. I didn't know there was a book about it! I'll check it out. Thanks.